Living With a Spirit of Gratitude and Seligman’s “Three-Good-Things.”
- By Matt Thurmond
At a recent banquet I attended Barbara Nicklaus said, “Saying thank you is the greatest prayer.” She followed by saying that “saying ‘thank you’ shows humility and understanding.”
One of the key principles in our program is “live with a spirit of gratitude,” which we put into practice with a behavior called “say ‘thank you’ a hundred times a day.”
In Martin Seligman’s book Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being he shares that one of the most impactful practices to improve one’s level of fulfillment and happiness is to recognize (say or write) “Three-Good-Things” from each day. Many anecdotes show an uptick in disposition, mood, and outlook for anyone who makes this practice a habit, even for a short time.
We have made this a practice in our home with our three daughters (not as often as we should!) and have found that after this exercise, combined with our nightly family prayers, the mood and disposition of our family is lifted significantly.
Striving for greatness and pushing to become always better is the mode of most high achievers. Thomas Edison rightly said that “discontent is the first necessity of progress.” On the other hand, living life without a humble spirit of gratitude inevitably leaves one feeling hollow and unfulfilled, regardless of soaring success.
I believe there can be a balance here. One can always strive to become better with a restlessness to achieve more, while also having the ability to step back with humble gratitude and recognize their blessings or opportunities in life. Thankful people are even thankful for the hardest things, knowing they facilitate learning, growth, and deeper understanding. Grateful people can maintain an uplifting disposition and mood even in the most challenging situations and making Seligman’s “Three-Good-Things” daily practice is a great start to becoming a grateful person.
Further, saying “thank you” to someone who in some way has lifted you, whether through text, voice, call, note, etc., will lift them as well. Knowing they have made an impact in your life also adds to the fulfillment and happiness of theirs.
“We instruct the students to write down daily three good things that happened each day for a week. The three things can be small in importance (‘I answered a really hard question right in language arts today’) or big (‘The guy I’ve liked for months asked me out!!!’). Next to each positive event, they write about one of the following: ‘Why did this good thing happen?’ ‘What does it mean to you?’ ‘How can you have more of this good thing in the future?’”
References
Seligman, Martin E.P. Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being. Atria, 2011.
